If you’re part of the late-diagnosed crowd, you may be struggling to find your footing and work with your autistic or ADHD neurotype. You may have gotten a pat on the back, a couple of book recommendations, and a “good luck.” But where should you start? It turns out that many of our challenges fall under the heading of executive function.
Executive functioning is often described as the CEO of your brain. It coordinates everything from planning, organizing, and working memory to impulse control and emotional regulation. Being able to see some of your struggles through the lens of executive function can help you reframe your past experiences with more self-compassion and move forward with a greater understanding of tools and strategies to support your neurotype.
What is Executive Function?
Executive function is like the CEO of your brain. It helps to plan, organize and regulate. It helps to bridge the gap between intellectually knowing what to do and executing your knowledge in real life.
Some core components of executive function are:
- Working memory–The ability to hold information in your mind in order to complete a task. Ever go to make a pan of brownies, look at the simple directions on the back of the box, and think to yourself, “Easy enough. Got it.” Then a few minutes later you inevitably find yourself digging the box out of the garbage can to double check the instructions. This is a common struggle for people with working memory challenges.
- Inhibition–The ability to resist impulses and focus on relevant information without being overwhelmed by distractions or big emotions. One common way this might show up is in struggling to maintain focus in classes or meetings and finding yourself “spacing out” when you know you should be paying attention. Another example is finding it nearly impossible to resist the impulse to snack when you are working on changing your diet for better health. Chips anyone?
- Cognitive flexibility–Being able to “shift” your thoughts in order to switch between tasks, see something from a different perspective, or adapt to change. This can cause many of us to experience intense anxiety when there are changes in routines or processes. It can be difficult to make a change even when intellectually you understand that changing the way you do something could improve the outcome.
Executive Function in Autism and ADHD
Common executive challenges in ADHD are:
- Task initiation
- Sustained attention
- Time management
Common executive challenges in autism are:
- Task switching
- Planning
- Emotional regulation
These challenges are not exclusive to either neurotype and more often than not overlap as we are discovering the high prevalence of autism and ADHD co-occurring. Being able to see these challenges as the manifestation of very real brain differences and not as inherent character flaws can bring you the clarity needed to give yourself grace, pick yourself up when things go wrong, and move forward with intention.
The Late-Diagnosed Experience
If you are a late-diagnosed adult, you may have spent years misattributing executive function struggles to laziness, lack of discipline, or personal failure. You may have even thought that everyone else was experiencing the same struggles as you but handling life with more ease and success. Maybe if you just tried harder, pushed more, found a better system, your life would finally come together and everything would fall into place.
You may have not even realized the extent of your struggles. If someone had asked you about your executive functioning before, you may have said something like, “No, I don’t struggle with that at all. I have a system.” Sometimes our struggles can be masked, even from ourselves, by our elaborate compensation strategies.
Do you have “landing zones” for specific objects? Do you always put things in the same place and in plain sight so they don’t get lost and you can remember they exist? Do you have an intense planning and scheduling system with color coding and sticky notes and wall calendars in places you will see them every day? Do you have a routine that ties important tasks to things you automatically do everyday, but when that routine is disrupted you completely forget to “do the thing”? You may be masking executive functioning differences.
Reframing Your Past
Looking back at school, work, and relationship struggles through the lens of executive function can bring a lot of clarity. You can start to understand why certain situations felt so disproportionately difficult. You realize that the exhaustion you felt from “white-knuckling” your way through life was real. You really were trying harder than everyone else just to get the minimum positive results.
Knowing that these struggles come from legitimate brain differences can allow you to release shame and self-blame. But now that you know, it can also allow you to seek out adaptations that work with your strengths and your own patterns without trying so hard to fight against them.
Practical Strategies Moving Forward
It’s easy to get down on ourselves and feel like there’s no point in trying anymore. But there are some real strategies out there that, with practice and trial and error, can make a real difference in your daily life. More and more resources are made available every day as science catches up to our lived experiences. There are apps, guides and workbooks, content creators, scholarly articles, and therapists with specific experience in working with neurodivergent adults.
Here are some common strategies to look into:
- Environmental modifications (visual cues, timers, body doubling)
- Technology tools and apps
- Breaking tasks into smaller steps
- Building in rest and recovery time
- Working with your brain rather than against it
- Seeking professional support (OT, therapy, coaching)
Self-Compassion and Community
While finding strategies to compensate for executive function struggles are a good idea, it’s also important to be able to go easy on yourself and adjust your expectations. It’s ok if you have to leave things out on tables and counters to give yourself visual cues. It’s ok if you need to set yourself a million alarms on your phone to remember to do the most basic tasks. It’s ok if you can’t bring yourself to do the task today. There’s always tomorrow.
Finding a community of people who understand what you are experiencing can help you feel encouraged and give you a resource for new ideas and strategies that have worked for others. Knowing what works for you can help you to more effectively advocate for accommodations that will truly make a difference in your ability to succeed in your daily life.
Remember to celebrate the small wins. Don’t expect to overhaul your entire life all at once. These things take time and patience. At times, progress may feel like one step forwards and two steps back. Strategies may work on some days and not on others. But putting in the work is the real cause for celebration. Don’t discount the importance of showing up for yourself day after day regardless of the outcome. That is the real win.
Conclusion
Understanding executive function is key to self-understanding. People can learn tools and strategies to improve at any age. It is never too late to take steps to improve your life. Start with one small change and you may be surprised at how many things can improve once you get the ball rolling.
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like 👉 Why Late-Diagnosis of ADHD and Autism Matters.
Thanks for listening, friends.
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Disclaimer:
This post reflects my personal experiences and perspectives as a late-identified neurodivergent adult. While I aim to share helpful insights, I don’t speak on behalf of the entire ADHD or autistic community. Neurodivergence is diverse and individual—please interpret this content through the lens of your own needs and experiences. This article is not a substitute for professional or medical advice.